Friday, Jul. 31, 2015 by Kate O’Toole, Special to the Times-Mirror| 0 comments | Email this story
In a society where learning ballroom dance and proper table etiquette may seem old school, cotillion has continued to remain popular in Loudoun County.
Jean Anne Michie, the director of Loudoun’s National League of Junior Cotillion, said that while some of the practices cotillion teaches may seem outdated, they are good skills to have.
“It’s about table manners and knowing which fork to use, but it’s more than that,” Michie said. “It makes the world a better place.”
As times change, so do the lessons that cotillion teaches. Compared to when Michie started teaching and only a handful of kids had cellphones, almost every kid now has one. As a mother of seven, Michie said she knows firsthand that rules are necessary to balance cellphone use and to encourage face-to-face conversation.
“Everything is so accessible,” she said. “I think it’s almost like an addiction.”
She also knows it is important to watch and be observant for what behavior is appropriate.
A woman may or may not appreciate someone holding a door open or pulling out their chair anymore, and workplace dress codes may be more informal than they used to be.
That being said, some cotillion lessons and traditions withstand the changing times. Debutantes dress up in their flowing gowns and fox trot across the dance floor to a live orchestra. Middle school boys learn to fasten their tie and introduce themselves to girls. Michie said teachers even show students how to use a finger bowl “just in case they happen to lunch with the Queen of England.”
Introducing debutantes to society was traditionally meant to find girls a husband, but Michie wants to make the program different. Her students create a community service project in Loudoun based on their interests. Service is her favorite part of the cotillion program, whether it is to the community or just a gesture from a child to a parent.
“To walk into a situation and see what’s happening around you and help others, that’s where you’ll find joy in life,” Michie said.
The lessons taught at cotillion vary for each age group. Pre-Cotillion students learn basic manners such as how to introduce themselves. By high school, students are learning real world skills with mock job interviews and business networking events.
Catherine Campbell, a former teaching assistant and debutante, said she owes her success in a college interview to cotillion.
“Learning those skills on how to present yourself, learning how to make eye contact, how to make enough hand gestures that you seem inviting but not too many [to make] you seem wild, knowing which words to pick and the right tone of voice, were really helpful in making sure that I wasn’t so stressed out during that interview that I couldn’t focus,” Campbell said.
Often times, students start out disliking cotillion, but Michie said that those are the success stories she loves the most.
Camille Holdridge, the mother of three boys who participates in cotillion, said her kids didn’t like it the first year or two. By the time her eldest was in eighth grade, he was encouraging his younger brothers to give it a chance.
“They are comfortable in public, they are comfortable introducing themselves to adults and to the opposite sex,” Holdridge said. “Ms. Michie is just a wonderful person and I’m not sure if it was run by someone else if the program itself would be so great.”
The cotillion chapters in Loudoun add up to roughly 360 students each year, and three new chapters are set to begin in the fall.
Kate O'Toole 